I Hate You, Hitsugaya Toushirou
by Tsuki-no-Kurokage
Summary: I hate you, Hitsugaya Toushirou. I hate you to the very core. 'I'm sorry, Ichigo...You must hate me now...' [Rated for language. Based on DiamondDust Rebellion.] HitsuIchi, Ichigo's POV. Now a twoshot.
1. Of Hatred

I Hate You, Hitsugaya Toushirou

Author's Note: Like I said in my profile…this is only what I _**think **_will happen in the movie. So don't take it too seriously; as in, there is a damn high chance that whatever is written here will not be displayed just as accurately in the upcoming movie. I only have that one 30-second long trailer and those four to five seconds of our two stars dueling against each other, so yeah…You get my drift.

Long story short…Since the movie isn't aired yet, I can't exactly say this but what the heck. This oneshot is AUish. The oneshot is rated for language, mainly. Ichigo and Hitsu might seem kinda OOC at some points, though…

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

No.

No, it isn't possible, damn it. It can't be true. They're lying about him.

What the hell is up with Soul Society nowadays? First, they sentence Rukia to death, then turns out the bastard Aizen is behind all this crap shit, and now…Now…

Toushirou's the victim. The victim of Soul Society's pointless and crappy law.

…Damn it.

I've known Toushirou long enough to know that he ain't some Aizen-wannabe. He was the one who went through hell to try and figure out the truth behind Rukia's execution date. In the end, he nearly got himself killed by that _teme…_Just when things are about to get slightly better, they get worse, and it's all coz of Soul Society's gawddamned law. What the crap are they saying now? Toushirou getting involved in the thievery of some stupid, useless piece of Soul Society treasure shit? That can't be true! Toushirou'd never do anything like that; never!

I've known him…long enough…

He's not like the _teme _Aizen. He's _**not**_. I just know he isn't.

'Hitsugaya Toushirou's defection', is it? Well, I'll change it. I'll change it all. I'll change it to 'Soul Society's incompetence'. I'll change it to 'Soul Society's stupidity'. And I'll be able to show them and see the look on their faces when I find proof to show that Toushirou's innocent. I'll clear his name; with Rukia's, Renji's and Rangiku-san's help, we'll clear his name together. We'll prove that Toushirou didn't betray Soul Society. We'll prove that Toushirou didn't betray us.

…Didn't betray _**me**_.

If Soul Society bans us from doing so, I'm gonna whack their sorry asses so bad they'll cry for forgiveness, like when Rukia had to be executed. That invasion nearly killed us, but I didn't care, and I still won't care now. If Toushirou's gonna be executed, fine by me, but only if they go through me first. But I'm most definitely freaking sure that Toushirou is not a traitorous bastard like Aizen. He won't get executed. He _**won't**_. As long as Soul Society hasn't come to a decision, I'm gonna find sufficient proof and clear Toushirou's name so he won't get executed.

I'll make sure of that.

**＜ブリーチ＞**

I thought he wasn't going to make it, but hey, this is Toushirou we're talking about here. If Toushirou could endure the hell Aizen the _teme _gave him, why couldn't he take the pain, hah? When I saw him lying there on the streets, all damn bloody and his shihakushou all tattered, I didn't know why but it was like as if my heart had skipped a beat. I still don't know why now. I guess it's coz I was worried he'd just lie dead there if I didn't help him out. When I went to carry him, I realized how shrimpy the kid was. So small and tiny, but so large a power.

Hey, he _**is **_a taichou, after all. It's just that I don't really see him as one. Sure, he's got the haori all right, but I don't give a damn about his haori. I don't see him as a taichou because…I don't know. I just don't. Maybe it's coz he looks like a kid. Or maybe it's just coz Toushirou's a very catchy name.

No…those ain't it at all.

I don't see Byakuya as a taichou, coz all I see him as is a statue-like sissy who loves cherry blossoms (A/N: No offense to Byakuya fans). I don't see Kenpachi as a taichou, coz he ain't got the responsibilities straight and he loves fighting too much, like me. I see him like a really really scary bastard that is a whole lot like me, except that I'm not as scary and I don't have a pink-haired girl on my shoulder twenty-four seven. So why do I refer to Toushirou by his name? Everyone sees him as a well-respected taichou of the 10th Division; a taichou with the most powerful ice-snow zanpakutou. But to me, I don't see him as one.

He's like a kid who takes on hell lot of responsibilities and is obsessed with his damned paperwork all day long; sure, that's true. But when I heard that he was the one who went through hell to figure out the truth behind Rukia's execution dates being moved so many times, I figured that he's not exactly a kid taichou who follows the rules all the time. He found out about those 46 dudes' deaths and tried to stop Aizen. I don't really know what happened after that but I heard that he failed to protect someone he loved and tried to kill Aizen for that, but got stabbed in the end.

Damn that bastard for hurting Toushirou.

I still don't know why I call him Toushirou. Perhaps it's coz we're just so much in common, like how Kenpachi loves fighting like I do. But why is it that I feel this…this _**thing **_whenever I'm near Toushirou? Like as if I wanna protect him or something. It's like how I felt with Rukia at first; I felt so much like protecting her and I still do, but that flame of protection burning within me is like telling me to go ahead and protect Toushirou instead, coz he looks like he really needs it now. Bringing him home was alright, but he's still not awake and it kinda worries me. That irritating bastard of the protecting flame is still telling me to help ease Toushirou's pain.

But the damn problem is I don't know how.

Hell, I don't even know what's going on.

I guess I'll ask him when he wakes up…

**＜ブリーチ＞**

No. Fucking. Way.

It's just not possible; it's not. It has got to be some kind of sick illusion the _teme _Aizen is using on me. That can_**not **_be Toushirou. It just can't.

But it is. I can't deny that frosty reiatsu; it's Toushirou's, but…gawd…How did things turn out like this? I didn't wanna believe he's a traitor at first, but now…I don't know anymore. The snowy white-haired kiddo isn't even giving me a damn chance to say anything and he's just slashing at me. He's already calling out to Hyourinmaru to help him. I don't freakin' understand it at all. Toushirou can't be like Aizen; he can't. But he's showing that he _**can **_right now.

No! Stop comparing Toushirou with a bastard like Aizen, Kurosaki Ichigo!

For Toushirou to be doing this…he's got to have a reason for it. Something must've happened when he was at a dump like Soul Society. Like when the thievery happened. They _**did **_say he went missing after going after the thieves; did something happen to him during that time when he went missing? Maybe something really bad happened but he's just keeping it all to himself, that stubborn bastard. If he's got to contain all that pain within him and act like this, I'd rather let him share the pain with me and we'll bear it together. If that something bad is for him to betray Soul Society and it's bringing him so much pain, I wanna be the one who'll see him through this dark period. I wanna be the one who'll stay by Toushirou's side, comforting him, and share his pain and suffering. I know damn well it'd be the same as betraying Soul Society and Rukia, but it's for Toushirou's sake.

That has to be it. He must be keeping everything to himself. I need to find out what and why.

I'm in bankai and Toushirou's still in shikai. I don't understand why he's not using his bankai, knowing well that I gain the upper hand with bankai. Somehow I gotta wake him up and show him that I care about him, even if no one else seems to care about him. We're rushing towards each other with high speed, and I can see the despair in Toushirou's eyes. I'm really on a roll; he might just be keeping it all to himself. As I see him jump with Hyourinmaru in his hands, normally I'd laugh at him coz he's so short, but now…now it's already so hard to even crack a tiny little smile, let alone a laugh…

But this is the chance to ask him what the hell was going on.

Our blades collide with each other and the burst of reiatsu flows out in all kinds of directions. It's amazing how his shikai is able to be on an equal standing with Tensa Zangetsu. The shit thing is even with Tensa Zangetsu, I can't seem to push Hyourinmaru further and further away from me. It's getting closer and closer. Damn! Since when was I _**this **_weak?! "Toushirou…" I mutter, hoping that I can get that bastard's attention. "Why are you doing this?"

When I see Toushirou's eyes looking at me, I see that it no longer has that shine to it unlike the sparkling diamonds I usually see him possess as eyes. It scares me, even, to see him turn out like this. "It's for your own good, Kurosaki," I can hear him whisper in a voice I can't recognize. "If you know what's best for you, don't be in my way."

What?! That doesn't make any sense! "…I don't understand…what you're trying to tell me," I whisper back, hoping that I can get a clearer answer this time. At least something that I can understand! Something that I can understand why Toushirou is acting like this!

"Good," the little bastard muttered, his damn heavy zanpakutou pushing me towards gravity pull. Then he jumps out of the way. I don't know why. Maybe he's giving me a chance to land a hit? Well, gladly. It might squeeze some details outta him. I wanna go up and punch him in the face and wake him up, but something's holding me and preventing me from moving. Now what the hell's up with that? There's something wrong with Zangetsu…and I look down. A silver chain-blade is coiled all around Tensa Zangetsu and I follow the direction of the chain.

Damn you, Toushirou, you're making a fool out of me.

"Sometimes, Kurosaki…" Toushirou speaks so coldly I don't know if that's the real Toushirou or not. The kid bastard tugs at his chain and pulls Zangetsu outta my grip. He knows. He knows I can't bear to fight him. He _**knows, **_gawddammit…I don't even know why myself. I just…I just _**can't **_hurt him. And he knows it, and putting it to his advantage. That cheeky lil' bastard…"…ignorance is bliss."

What the fuck does he mean by that?! Is he talking to me like as if I'm not supposed to know anything?! How the hell can I help him if he doesn't want me to? I know he's in pain; I can tell from how cold his voice gets. It's just not Toushirou-like. As much as he despises me for calling him Toushirou all the damn time, he can't hate me _**that **_much. At least, _**I **_don't hate him…do I?

I don't know anymore. I don't know _**what **_the _**fuck **_to believe.

I need Tensa Zangetsu, dammit! If I wanna win and know what the hell to believe, I'll need Tensa Zangetsu and I'm gonna take it from Toushirou! I run, even though I know I'll just get slashed by Hyourinmaru _**and **_Tensa Zangetsu if Toushirou's bad enough a bastard to use my own zanpakutou against me. I try to reach out for Tensa Zangetsu but Toushirou just calls his damn cold dragon to flood me. His reiatsu is just so cold…so different from the reiatsu I can feel from the normal Toushirou…I hate it, dammit all. Why the hell am I thinking like this? This isn't like me…

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

My arms are still so numb from the dragon and my legs are nearly frozen, but I gotta get Tensa Zangetsu back. I have no choice but to crawl. It's embarrassing; it's like as if I'm begging Toushirou for forgiveness. Pft. Yeah right. I'd never ask for forgiveness from a traitor like him. He betrayed me; he betrayed all of us. I see the truth now. There is no need for forgiveness from him, but from me.

**Clang**

I look at the blade in front of me. Tensa Zangetsu? That can't be. Just now, it was in Toushirou's possession but now he's…he's returning it to me? Why? Doesn't he want to destroy me?

"It slipped out of my hand," I hear Toushirou explain with one simple sentence. I hear the frustration this time, but it's false frustration; it's so easy to tell. I wanna smirk at him for deliberately giving Tensa Zangetsu back to me, but the smile is just so hard to appear. It's like my mouth muscles just freeze up. I break outta the ice and grab Tensa Zangetsu.

"…_Arigatou_."

"…Baka," Toushirou mutters like how he does every other day. It felt so normal at that point of time, but it suddenly goes back to reality when Toushirou slashes at me with Hyourinmaru again. It's so hard and I feel like asking the stupid hollow inside my head to help out, but Toushirou will get really hurt. I don't want him to get hurt coz of something I did to him. Getsuga Tenshou may do the trick, but it's still so hard for me to aim it directly at him, that cold bastard. I can hear old man Zangetsu and my gawddamned hollow in my head. I don't know who to believe; old man Zangetsu or the troublesome hollow.

"_Ichigo, it is not like you to be in denial for such a long time. You have known him for a few months; you should know his character. I do, because I am you. What do you want to believe, Ichigo? Soul Society or him?"_

"_HAH! Don't listen to him, Ichigo! It's clear as glass that the lil' bastard is just like the teme Aizen. Let me take over and I'll take care of him for ya. There's nothing to think about, ya know, coz it's damn obvious who the real villain is!"_

…I don't know what to believe, old man Zangetsu. Soul Society or Toushirou? I really don't know.

And you stupid hollow, shut the hell up. Toushirou _**isn't **_like Aizen; not one bit. That's how much I know about him. He hates the bastard to the very core. There's no way he's like Aizen. He must have his reasons. He must.

That's right; how could I doubt Toushirou before?

I know him long enough.

"Souten ni zase, Hyourinmaru!"

"Shit! Getsuga Tenshou!"

It's so rushed; it's so natural for me to just scream out Getsuga Tenshou without thinking. What the hell am I doing?! I'll be hurting Toushirou! I don't even know his reason right from the start of this damn crap shit! I see Getsuga Tenshou pushing the dragon away but when the water clears, Toushirou isn't there anymore. Where is he? Where did he go?

Then Toushirou answers me by slashing my back.

It hurts…It hurts, dammit. It hurts with the coldness of his reiatsu.

If Toushirou's unwilling to tell me anything, then I shan't hold back…Maybe, just maybe, he'd tell me everything.

"Getsuga Tenshou!"

I'm expecting Toushirou to do something to stop Getsuga Tenshou, but all he's doing is shunpo-ing outta the way. He shouldn't do that. Getsuga Tenshou can follow him wherever goes; he'll…get hurt. I don't know why he's doing this; I don't know why he's pretending to be cold to me when it's so obvious _**he **_doesn't want me to get hurt too.

…This sucks.

**Clang**

I hear him hiss and curse when I blink outta my daze. He's holding onto his right arm, the arm he uses to wield Hyourinmaru. The big blotch of Getsuga Tenshou is gone, but I can see that Toushirou's arm has a new burn on it. Oh hell. I really _**did **_hurt him. If I fight him, he ain't gonna have any chance to fight back if he can't even hold his zanpakutou properly. Hyourinmaru's already lying on the ground and I can see Toushirou's hand trembling. Is it from the pain I gave him?

…I hate myself. I hate myself for doing that to him.

Soul Society has given orders to find him and bring him back there, but I don't wanna listen to their crap. I wanna hear it from Toushirou. I wanna hear it _**straight **_from Toushirou. I wanna hear the truth; the reasons; his confession. I need to hear them before I deal with him. I'm not bringing him back there for his death just yet. Now's the chance for me to get some answers from him. When he's hurt and unable to fight, it'll be just fine…I guess. "Toushirou, you…"

"Hadou no sanjyuusan: Soukatsui."

Damn you, Toushirou, you didn't give me a chance to finish.

The kid can really put up a fight…Even if one arm's injured, he'd use the other arm for kidou which I suck at. He's really a cheeky lil' bastard, that Toushirou…

"Hold it," a weird freaky voice speaks. I jump outta the way of Soukatsui, but I nearly get myself crushed by this shit hollow that suddenly comes along. I roll outta the way and jump to my feet with Tensa Zangetsu. This hollow looks really freaky, really freaky. It's got the mask, all right, but he looks like…like a human. The hole is there, and the body's just the size of a human. The thing is it looks like a blob of shit. So freaky. Not the ugliest hollow I've ever seen, but still.

"What do you want?" I ask, really pissed that some damn hollow's interrupting us.

"I'm not here for you, boy," the hollow replies with a huff. I scowl; I'm not a boy. To my surprise, the hollow is looking directly at Toushirou. Now what does the hollow want with _**Toushirou**_? "I have come to receive Hitsugaya Toushirou."

What the fuck?!

Toushirou, tell me…Tell me you're not on the side of the hollows. Please don't say that the hollow is seriously here for you.

"Ah," Toushirou replies, to my horror. "You must be the one he sent to pick me."

"Are you ready to leave?"

"…Yes."

It can't be happening. Toushirou…Toushirou would never betray us. That's not Toushirou…It's not, it just can't be. But if he's not, then how come he looks like Toushirou, he sounds like Toushirou and he fights like Toushirou? It…it just can't be true. Damn it, it just can't be true!

"Toushirou, you're…you're with _**them**_? You…you really betrayed us?"

I need an answer. A clear answer. I wanna hear it come from his lips.

"It's obvious…Kurosaki."

…No…It just can't be true…Hearing it coming from him, I still can't believe it…

I need answers. I need to know the truth behind all this…I need to know why this is happening. This shouldn't be happening; it shouldn't at all.

"Why…?"

…I demand an answer…

"Why are you…?"

…I demand an answer…

"CONFESS!"

…_**I DEMAND AN ANSWER NOW!**_

Why are you running away, Toushirou?! Where the hell are you shunpo-ing off to?! Huh?!

"You want to know why, Kurosaki?" I can hear him whisper in my ear behind me.

Behind me…

Suddenly, I feel like throwing up. Something that feels like water is moving up my throat. It tastes like metal and I spit it out. Blood. Blood all over the ground. My blood. I look down and I see a blade pierced right through my stomach. Ice is starting to form from the blade and creepily growing right _**on **_me.

…Toushirou…

I feel Toushirou tugging the blade out and I cough out some more blood. Toushirou continues with what he says, "…It's because of you."

…What? Because of me? What does Toushirou's betrayal have anything to do with me?

I fall down and I can feel the coldness from the ice continuing to form an ice cage to encase me. There's no way I can get a clear answer from Toushirou; not when I'm so damn hurt like this. I hear Toushirou walking away and I tilt my head. I can hear very clearly what the hollow is telling Toushirou. "Come, Hitsugaya-sama. We shan't keep him waiting for you."

Who…is _**he**_? Who is that _**him **_who wants Toushirou…?

I don't…understand…

"I'm sorry…Kurosaki."

Then, all I can see is darkness.

**＜ブリーチ＞**

"Ichigo…Ichigo, wake up…"

When I open my eyes, the first person I see is a worried Rukia. I feel some weird pain in my chest; I was expecting Toushirou, but that'll never happen, not even in a century. Funny…I thought I died. I thought Toushirou actually killed me. I look at where that bastard stabbed me. It's weird, it's really weird.

I look perfectly _**fine**_.

I touch my chest. "Rukia…" Maybe Rukia knows something about this. "What happened?"

"I should be the one asking that, Ichigo. Renji and I found you lying on the pavement outside your house. No matter how many times we called, you just wouldn't wake up. Till now," Rukia explains with a frown. But wait, did she say pavement? Outside my house? That's impossible; I was fighting Toushirou on the _**roofs. **_How did I end up on the pavement? "And it's weird. You were lying down there unconscious, but we couldn't find any visible injuries on you, Ichigo. You scared me, baka!"

Rukia hits me with her fist, but I don't feel like arguing with her. Not now. I'm not in the mood. Not after what happened with Toushirou. I notice Rukia staring at me, as if she's expecting me to hit back or shout, and not keep quiet. She's right to stare; it's like I'm not me whenever it comes to Toushirou. "_Arigatou_, Rukia. I just wanna get some sleep now."

"Ichigo…What happened?"

I force a smile. "I'll tell ya later."

She pauses then she nods, thankfully. She didn't ask me anything else and leaves me alone in my room. I lie back down and pull the blanket over my face. I remember everything that happened so quickly that I can't get it in my head just yet. Soul Society calling; Toushirou lying down there, bleeding; Toushirou waking up; Toushirou not being clear; Toushirou being an asshole; us fighting; the hollow coming; Toushirou stabbing me; Toushirou leaving…All of this leads to one cause: Toushirou's betrayal.

Why? Why is he betraying us? Why is he on the enemy's side? He says it's because of me, but it still doesn't explain anything! Why did he betray my trust? I believed so much in him; I believed that he had nothing to do with the thievery. But I've been proven wrong.

…That bloody asshole.

But I remember perfectly…Toushirou stabbed me right here in the chest. The ice formed; I know it did. It _**was **_there. Now it's gone. For no reason. And this reiatsu I feel whenever I touch my chest where Toushirou stabbed…It's Toushirou's reiatsu. Go figure. He fucking stabbed me; course his reiatsu will be there. Even though the wound is gone, I can still feel pain there. It's so painful, it's worse than hell. It feels like as if Toushirou has stabbed me for hundreds and hundreds of times. It hurts…It really hurts…

"…Damn you, Toushirou…Damn you."

**＜ブリーチ＞**

_He looked down, letting his white bang cover one of his dull and pained teal eyes. Clad in his cloak, haori-less, he ran into the nearest bathroom and locked the door. Hissing in frustration, he grabbed a pail full of water and overturned it above his head, letting the freezing cold water drench his entire being. He was soaked to the skin, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to get rid of the pain he was containing within himself. The water eased him quite a bit, but he still felt the searing pain in his chest. Looking at himself in the mirror, he realized, he looked downright horrible. His eyes, once lively and beautiful, were completely void of emotion and dead. His white hair, once envied by many for its purity, was dull and slightly grey, tainted with the newfound evil he had made contact with. He was deathly pale and there were bags under his eyes. He felt something awfully stinging come into contact with his eyes. He blinked, hoping to get rid of the pain, but all he felt was even more pain as he blinked more._

_Why was this happening…?_

"…_What's done cannot be undone…"_

_Of all people, why did it have to be him?_

"_I just want you to let me say something…"_

_It didn't make any sense…_

"_I'm sorry, Ichigo…"_

_Hitsugaya Toushirou closed his eyes shut as he collapsed to his knees, letting the tears fall._

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_You must hate me now…"_

**＜ブリーチ＞**

**I hate you, Hitsugaya Toushirou. I hate you to the very core.**

**I hate you for keeping it all to yourself. I hate you for leaving without even saying goodbye. I hate you for betraying my trust. I hate you for your unwillingness to tell me. I hate you for your reluctance to confide in me when I am always here for you. I hate you for giving me all this fucking pain. I hate you for making me act like someone I'm not when I'm around you. I hate you for having so much authority over me. I hate you for messing around with me. I hate you for putting my weaknesses to your advantage. I hate you for being such a sneaky traitorous little asshole. I hate you for making me hate myself. I hate you…for being you.**

**I hate you, Hitsugaya Toushirou. I hate you to the very core.**

**But why is it that I still love you so…?**

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A/N: Whoa…I was kinda expecting this to be short, like a few hundred words, but this…

o.O

Please tell me what you think about it! Oh yeah, like I said, this is just my view on how the movie might go. Might. So it's very very highly likely that this will never happen in the actual movie, so yeah, it's AUish, other than the plot.

…I'm sleepy. XD

Stayed up till about one in the morning to get the fighting part done and all touched up before I went to bed xp. The rest I completed this morning and just in time before lunch! Yayz!!! (I'm ultra-hyper because it's now the end-of-year holidays! Woohoo!)

_Arigatou _for spending some of your precious time to read this! _Ja ne_!

**Reflect the truth of which you see**

**Tsuki-no-Kurokage**


	2. Of Love

Author's Note: …Yes…I intended for it to end as a oneshot, but after a simple request from a fellow reviewer and thinking it through, I decided to make this into a twoshot. I would also like to sort of apologise to andrewhot because I know I told you that I wanted to make it Hitsu's POV, but that kinda couldn't be done coz I don't know what is _**really **_going on with him, so yeah. I hope you don't mind.

Disclaimer: Read previous chapter and…I DON'T OWN SONG LYRICS. No no no, me no ownie song lyrics! No!

**Bold – Ichigo's thoughts directed at Hitsu**

_Italics – lyrics/thoughts/another POV_

_**Bold italics – emphasizing**_

_Underline italics – bridge_

_**Bold underline italics - chorus**_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

…Damn it. Damn it all.

I didn't want to tell Rukia and Renji, but they pestered and irritated me so. Rangiku-san won't be very pleased when she hears what happened from them. I can still remember Rukia's and Renji's faces when they heard. They had the look that _**I **_had when I saw Toushirou fighting me: disbelief. Sure, they choose not to believe it _**now**_, but soon they'll realize that it ain't good to trust the icy cold bastard. The Hitsugaya Toushirou we knew from before was gone; can't they accept that as much as I can? It was seriously hard shit to accept, but I had to.

Now I don't really care. If Toushirou wants to play the cold game, then I wanna have some of the fun. He becomes so cold to me; I'll be cold to him, maybe even colder. Why? For betraying me, that's what. No, not just me. He betrayed the whole of Soul Society. I should've just believed them and bring Toushirou back there for questioning. Why was I so stupid to fall for Toushirou's damned trick? Why did I believe so much in him? Why…? Why…?

_**Kimi wa kima dake shika inai yo**_

_**Kawari nante hoka ni inainda**_

_**Karenai de ichirin no hana**_

"_Ichigo," I hear old man Zangetsu in my head._

"_What?" I ask. Dammit, I'm not in the mood for Zangetsu's little tidbits of wisdom right now, even though I really need it…_

"_I thought you believe in him, Ichigo."_

"…_I __**did**__, but not anymore."_

"_I thought you always stand firm in your beliefs." What is he getting at? "I thought you swore that you would protect him." Ok, what is he __**really **__getting at?! "I thought you wanted to clear his name and prove that he isn't a traitor. I thought you promised him you'll always believe in him. Where has all those promises gone, Ichigo? Where has all your determination gone?"_

"_Shut up, Zangetsu…"_

"_This isn't the Kurosaki Ichigo I know from before. Where has the Kurosaki Ichigo who managed to master me in three days gone?"_

"_Shut __**UP**__, Zangetsu!"_

_Bloody hell, of all times, old man Zangetsu just has to pick this time to tell me all this shit!_

"…_Where has your love for him gone?"_

_What did Zangetsu mean by that?! I hate the asshole now; I don't fucking love him!_

"_Deny it not, Ichigo. Your mind says that you despise him, but look inside your heart for a change. Nothing but the truth lies within there, Ichigo. Nothing but the truth."_

**＜ブリーチ＞**

**Inside my heart…What does Zangetsu mean by that?**

**I know damned well how I feel about you. I hate you till I can't hate you anymore, Toushirou. But still, like what Zangetsu said, I cannot deny that I still feel something else about you, and it's not the damned hatred. It's something else altogether. Disgust? Anger? Intent to kill?**

**No, those ain't it at all.**

…**Is it still possible for me to love you?**

**But it isn't possible, is it? It's all crap. How the hell can I love and hate you at the same time? It's either I hate you or I love you, and I sure as hell hate you. But why is it that I still feel like there's a need to protect you, Toushirou? Are you in some kind of danger? I hope not…and I hope so too.**

…**Maybe it **_**is **_**possible for me to love and hate you.**

**Maybe…**_**that **_**was the truth all this time…**

**＜ブリーチ＞**

"The hell?! That really happened?!"

And so here we are again, Rukia and Renji came back from Soul Society to see me on Rangiku-san's orders. I thought things would go pretty well with me around to be on the lookout for Toushirou but I didn't think…I didn't think the bastard would actually go this far! Or was it Toushirou in the first place? Zangetsu's telling me…that it's up to me to believe…

If I choose to believe that Toushirou isn't a traitor...will the outcome be the same as choosing to believe that Toushirou _**is **_a traitor?

"Yes," Rukia's voice cuts in my thoughts. I'll think about it later, I guess. Now it's serious shit. "Kyouraku-taichou was attacked by a mysterious figure…and the search party sent to find Hitsugaya-taichou nearly got killed."

"In both cases," Renji adds on. "there have been reiatsu traces of Hitsugaya-taichou's zanpakutou, Hyourinmaru, and…oi, Ichigo, you listening?!"

I _**was**_. But I don't wanna hear what's gonna come up next.

"Ichigo…I know you're still very upset…" Right as hell, Rukia, right as hell. "But we really need you to listen now."

"…Alright. I'm listening."

"…Soul Society…" I can see Rukia gripping onto her hakama. Whatever she's gonna tell me, it's gotta be damned disheartening…I can tell…Rukia isn't the kind who gets this worried and tensed so easily. Maybe…just maybe, the fucking old bastard decided on something that shouldn't be decided. "…Soul Society…!"

"Damn it, Rukia…" I can't take it anymore; we gotta get this over and done with. "It's ok…Just tell me."

"…Soul Society…Soul Society has decided on Hitsugaya-taichou's sentence and…he will be executed on arrival."

**＜ブリーチ＞**

**On arrival…What the hell did she mean by that?**

**Don't tell me that if he steps foot in Soul Society, he will be executed?**

**Hell no…This can't be happening.**

**No matter what the old bastard tells me, I won't listen. I don't want just anyone to bring you back to Soul Society. I want to be the one who will bring you back. Not to Soul Society. Back to your senses, Toushirou. I want to be the one who will bring you back to your senses. If this is a joke…I ain't laughing. Toushirou…I want you to see what is going on…I want you to know that whatever you do has an impact on everything. This is enough, Toushirou. Enough already. No more fooling around. I don't care if I hate or love you. All I want is for you to realize what is happening right now.**

_Hikari ga matomo ni sashikomanai_

_Kimi wa maru de hikage ni saita hana no you_

_Nozonda hazu jyanakatta basho ni_

_Ne wo harasete ugokezu ni irunda ne_

**Toushirou…Please, wake up…**

**Please return to me…**

**＜ブリーチ＞**

I don't want to do this.

I don't want to fucking do this at all.

I won't do anything to Toushirou. I just…can't. I just can't bring myself to even land a scratch on Toushirou. I just can't!

"As you can see, Kurosaki Ichigo," the purple cloak person with a hollow mask says. I glare at him then I look at Toushirou. Something tells me that Toushirou is…_**forced **_to do this… "Your friend Toushirou has joined forces with me. He is no longer on your nor Soul Society's sides. It is evident by how he has hurt you just now."

...Damn.

I'm bleeding…No, my arm's bleeding like hell. And it hurts. There are small little icy things on my injury and the damned bleeding won't stop. Fine…Toushirou can hurt me all he wants. I won't fight back. That's what the creepy bastard wants me to do, so I won't do anything. At least, not now. "Kurosaki…" _**…Toushirou…**_ "You'd better leave now, or else I'll make you regret ever coming here."

"Hell no way, Toushirou." I won't leave him here to carry on messing with us anymore. "I came to bring you back, and I _**will **_bring you back!"

"My, my, he's a determined little pest, isn't he?" You shut up, you bloody asshole. You're the reason Toushirou's acting like this. "Get rid of him immediately, Toushirou. He's a sore to the eyes."

**Toushirou…**

**Don't do something that you'll regret…**

**Toushirou…**

"…I'm sorry…Kurosaki."

Sorry? Sorry doesn't even begin to cut it!

I move away from Hyourinmaru, Tensa Zangetsu still in my bloody hand. I intended to kill that creepy half-shinigami half-hollow off with Tensa Zangetsu, but I didn't think Toushirou would obey him so willingly! Damn! Dammit all! Damnation! "Toushirou! Don't do this, Toushirou!"

Toushirou stops for a moment and I can see his sad teal eyes looking at Hyourinmaru for a while. "…I don't want to do this…Kurosaki…"

_Tojikaketa kimochi hakidaseba_

If he doesn't wanna do this, then why is he doing it? He can just stop anytime he wants; he _**could've **_just stopped earlier, then this will never even happen at all. Why didn't Toushirou think of that when he's such a _tensai (genius)? _Why…? He could've prevented any of this from happening; all he had to do was stay loyal to Soul Society and not defect over to the enemy's side, right? Right…?

"What are you waiting for, Toushirou? Kill him."

"...But I have to," Toushirou whispers in my ear when I suddenly feel the cold blade of Hyourinmaru to my neck and Toushirou, on my back. Did he just shunpo off there…? Is he really gonna bring himself to…?

"But why, Toushirou?" I ask. Before I die, I want to at least know his reason. I want to at least know the entire truth so I can bring it to my grave. Hell, I may not even die and can stop it once I know the truth!

"Because…I hate you."

So that's it? He hates me? Ha. Pathetic. Not him; me. I thought I loved him before, then I started hating him till I realized that I love and hate him at the same time. And here I thought Toushirou's actually doing this for me. Well, he's doing it for me, all right, to _**get rid **_of me. If he hates me, he can just tell me straight coz he's already gonna kill me for hatred. Is it that hard to tell someone that you hate him? I don't think so; I think it's the easiest thing to accomplish in this entire world. It's just a simple 'I hate you'. Those three magic words are all Toushirou needs in the end.

…Now that I know his reason…

I know what my resolve is.

"Heh. That's funny, Toushirou. Coz I hate you too."

"Oh really? I'm not surprised, Kurosaki."

"I wasn't intending to surprise you, you little bastard."

Hyourinmaru's getting closer to my throat. I can feel the blade piercing through my skin already. "Tell me, Kurosaki. Do you really hate me?"

I want so much to tell him with a straight 'Yes I do, you bastard', but I don't know why my mouth just don't want to say it. I open my mouth, but whenever I try mentally telling my voice to say something, nothing will come out. Do I really hate him? Zangetsu told me to look inside my heart…but it's the same. I still feel like hating this white-haired kid down here who's about to murder me, but I also don't wanna hurt him. Both physically and emotionally. It's like the annoying flame within me is again telling me not to hurt his feelings, but to protect him from getting hurt in any form, including me. This idiotic feeling is telling me that Toushirou's already hurt as he is now; so I can't add on to his pain, can I?

"…I'll take silence as a yes then," Toushirou whispers some more.

"Stop lollygagging, Toushirou, and finish him."

That bloody asshole really gets on my nerves…

"Kurosaki Ichigo, I'll ask you one last time. Do you hate me?"

"…Yes. I hate you, Hitsugaya Toushirou. I hate you to the very core." I tilt my head slowly. I wanna see the look on his face so badly. I wanna see his reaction to my answer.

But I never wanted to see…those glistening tears in his eyes…

_**Itami mo kurushimi mo subete wo uketomeru yo**_

_**Dakara nakanai de**_

_**Waratte ite ichirin no hana**_

Toushirou…crying?

I thought I'd never see the day…

But hell…Oh bloody fucking hell…

_**I **_was the one who made him cry. _**I **_was the one who said that I hated him.

Now he's crying…Shedding tears because of me…Because of what I said to him. I hurt him; I must've cut him. I must've cut him real deep…Really deep…

But he was the one who said that he hated me in the first place. If he really hates me so much that he wants to kill me, why should he feel hurt at all? It doesn't make sense; unless he doesn't really hate me. But that still won't make any sense…If he doesn't hate me, why does he want to kill me? Does he even want to kill me in the first place? It _**is **_on the damned purple freak's orders, after all.

How does Toushirou really feel about me…?

Is he…just as confused as I am…?

"Toushirou…" I whisper, stretching out my hand. I want to wipe those tears away from his face; he looks so ugly when he cries like that. His hand is trembling; I know by the clattering of Hyourinmaru. It's not even on my neck anymore. Toushirou must've been so shaken, so hurt by my stupid answer that he doesn't know what he's doing anymore.

By the time my hand touches his face, he swats it away like a fly. "…Don't." Toushirou doesn't even sound like he's crying. "You hate me, don't you?"

"Toushirou…I…"

"Since you hate me so much…" Toushirou tosses Hyourinmaru away. But why? That doesn't any sense…

"…then go ahead and kill me, Kurosaki."

_Ima ni mo karete shimai sou na_

_Kimi no mujyaki na sugata ga mou ichido mitakute_

What?! Is Toushirou out of his mind?! Kill him?! Why the hell would I do that?! Of course I hate him but…I don't wanna kill him!

"Toushirou, are you insane?!"

"Yes, Toushirou, what do you think you're doing? You're supposed to kill _**him**_, not the other way around." I don't understand how that purple freak – who creepily looks like Byakuya… - can be so calm!

"Kurosaki, if you really hate me, why don't you kill me right here, right now on Soul Society's behalf? They'll be sure to reward you and you'll be able to get rid of me. It's all good, isn't it?"

No. It ain't no damn good at all. This bastard must've done something to Toushirou that makes him act like this. The Hitsugaya Toushirou I know never asks for someone to kill him. For all I know, he doesn't want to die yet, dammit! He wants to live long enough to bring Aizen to justice; he wants to live long enough to get his revenge for his childhood friend who's stuck in a damn coma because of the _teme_! I know; I know it all.

Because I know Toushirou long enough.

"…Duh, I hate you, Toushirou…But I don't wanna kill you!"

"And why not?"

Damn you, Toushirou. Why do you always like picking fights with me?

"I don't wanna kill you because I just don't, ok? I don't hate you that much, you bastard."

"Don't you 'hate me to the very core', Kurosaki?"

"…It was just a damn fucking comment, Toushirou! I didn't mean it!" I protest.

Hell yeah, I didn't really mean it…

I only said it coz I thought Toushirou really hated me…But looks like he doesn't.

I walk closer and closer to Toushirou, hoping that I'll be able to bring the real Hitsugaya Toushirou back this time. He doesn't move away. That's good. "Toushirou, this isn't like you. I want you to come back, Toushirou. I want you to be yourself again."

…Oh bloody hell, did I just make Toushirou cry again? Why's he crying? I'm not doing anything to hurt him! "Why…? Why are you doing this…?" Hey, shouldn't I be the one asking that? "Why won't you just give up on me…? Ichigo…"

_Kimi no chikara ni naritainda_

He said it. He actually said it. He said my name for the very first time.

Even though this ain't a good time to, I smile at him and brush away his tears. "You wanna know why? Coz I believe in you, Toushirou."

"Why do you believe in me so much?! Aren't you afraid of getting hurt?!"

I flinch a little at his outburst. But it's good, isn't it? The real Toushirou's coming back bit by bit…or outburst by outburst. "I believe in you…and I don't need a reason!"

Toushirou doesn't say anything. Ah-hah, he's speechless. For once, _**he's **_the speechless one. Maybe he just wants some time alone to himself…or maybe he's thinking things through properly, like what he always did in the past. No; _**does. **_No more past tense when it comes to Toushirou; he's coming back, I'm sure of it. It'll just take some time for him to heal from the mental damage done, whatever it was. "Toushirou, I'm waiting for you to kill him!"

"Shut up, _teme_!" Really…This guy oughta shut that stupid mouth of his! I swing Tensa Zangetsu at him and he moves away in fear. Ha! He's afraid of getting cut; what a baby. "You leave Toushirou alone!"

"You're getting overprotective of him, aren't you, Kurosaki Ichigo?"

What the heck is this creep smiling about…?

"Well, fine. We shall soon see just how protective you are…" That sneaky creep! He's gotten hold of Toushirou! He actually shunpo-ed right under my nose, that bastard! "One wrong move, Ichigo, and the boy dies."

"…Don't you _**dare **_hurt Toushirou."

_**Tatoe kimi igai no subete no hito wo**_

_**Teki ni mawasu toki ga kite mo**_

_**Kimi no koto mamori nuku kara**_

Toushirou's struggling to get out of the whatever-his-name-is's hold, but the creep's just pushing the blade of his zanpakutou even nearer and nearer to Toushirou's neck. I can see the blood dripping. How dare he cut Toushirou like that! I'll never forgive him! Toushirou has no way of fighting back; Hyourinmaru's right there on the floor and Toushirou sure as hell can't use kidou against this guy…can he? I stare at Toushirou for a while, hoping that he can get my message. He looks at me, and pauses, then stops struggling. Giving the bastard a cold glare, I can hear him mutter, "Bakudou no ichi: Sai."

Way to go, Toushirou!

"…That was an eye-opener, Toushirou." Man, this guy doesn't know when to _**shut the fuck up**_. "I didn't expect you to betray me just like that."

"…I could've done so earlier, if not for…" Toushirou narrows his eyes. "…I don't care about it anymore. All I care about is killing you."

"I've always wanted the famous _tensai _Hitsugaya Toushirou to join me, and I got my wish. Unfortunately, wishes don't stay fulfilled for very long, do they?" That creep…still has that smile on his face…What is he up to? "The same goes for you, Toushirou. You wish so badly in your heart that you'll kill me someday; it may appear that you'll get your wish today. However…"

Shit, the creep's raising his reiatsu…! He's trying to break off from the kidou spell! "Toushirou, get outta there!"

"…No, Kurosaki."

"What the hell are you saying?! He's gonna kill you if you don't get outta there soon! You know he's trying to-!"

"I know." How the hell can Toushirou be so calm?! Toushirou _**is **_Toushirou, after all, but safety's first!

"So?! What's the point of staying around there?! At least if you're with me, I can help and-"

"…This is my fate…" Toushirou's reiatsu's getting higher too; is he…really intending to…? He looks at me, and I recognize the Toushirou-like determination in his eyes. He's back; Hitsugaya Toushirou is really back. "…This is my fight!"

**＜ブリーチ＞**

_You should notice that there is no other_

_You should notice that there is no next time_

_You should notice that there is no other_

_You should notice that there is no next…_

_Time Notice That You should notice that_

_Notice that there's no other_

**Toushirou…**

…**You baka.**

**＜ブリーチ＞**

Here he is, lying on the bed of the – what division? – 4th Division. He really should've just listened to me and got away from there, otherwise he wouldn't even be in this state. That creepy guy…I don't remember him telling us his name, not even before he died. Yup, he died, alright, died at Toushirou's hands. And for that, I'm both proud and not proud of Toushirou. First things first…he nearly got himself fucking killed out there. The creep broke outta the bakudou and once he did, Toushirou called for Hyourinmaru. But the creep dodged it and stabbed Toushirou right on his back.

That bloody asshole.

I wanted so much to help Toushirou at that time, but Toushirou, being Toushirou, didn't want me to interfere. Well, Toushirou survived, and that's what matters to me.

_**Kimi wa kimi dake shika inai yo**_

_**Ima made mo kore kara saki ni mo**_

…And the way he killed Kusaka…

Oh yeah…The guy's name was Kusaka…Now I remember. So he _**did **_tell us.

I still can't get the bloody image outta my head…It was a long fight for sure, but maybe I just don't wanna remember just how hurt and bloody Toushirou got. All I remember are bits and pieces…and _**that thing**_…Then Kusaka the purple freak died and Toushirou lying there, bleeding non-stop. I was holding him…then after a damn long time, Soul Society's search party finally came. I remember shouting at them, cursing them for being so late, and a lot of stuff…I don't know. The thing is, Toushirou survived. That's all that counts, right?

The old fart nearly ordered for Toushirou's execution immediately, but all the captains and I pleaded on Toushirou's behalf that he was – no, is – innocent and that he had his reasons for betraying us in the first place. At first, the old bastard didn't wanna hear us but after hell lot of protesting, he finally called Toushirou's execution off. That was really relieving…

_**Tatoe kimi igai no subete no hito wo**_

_**Teki ni mawasu toki ga kite mo**_

"…Ichi…go…"

"…Toushirou?" I see Toushirou's – beautiful – eyes opening up. Ah, he's waking up. "Toushirou, you awake? How are you feeling?"

"…Sore…"

"Of course you are, bastard. I thought I had to get your grave prepared early."

Toushirou grunts as if he's…chuckling? Hitsugaya Toushirou chuckling?! "Amusing…"

"You call getting yourself killed 'amusing'?"

"…Never mind…But, Kurosaki…"

Damn, Toushirou, when will you stop with the Kurosaki thing?

"About…the way I killed him…You…Did you…?"

"Yeah…I saw it."

Toushirou looks at me with eyes that look as if he's pleading me. I can't take it, really. I can't take Toushirou pleading me. "You won't…You won't tell anyone, will you?"

How the hell can I tell anyone about _**that**_? If I tell anyone, and the old fart hears of it, there's no telling what he'll do to Toushirou… "Of course I won't."

"Good…Because if you do, I'll freeze your ass off."

I hold back a fit of chuckles. "Yeah, yeah, whatever, Toushirou…"

Toushirou…will be Toushirou…after all…

_**Kimi no koto mamori nuku kara**_

_**Makenai de ichirin no hana**_

**＜ブリーチ＞**

_She skipped along the corridors of the 4__th__ Division hurriedly, glancing from door to door to look for the correct room number. She accidentally bumped into some of the members of the medical division and as she apologized quickly, the members smiled at her and said that they didn't mind. On the other hand, they even told her that they understood why she was in such a rush and told her to hurry, but not to make too much noise lest she disturbed the other patients. Thanking them for their understanding, she ran to find the room this time. She really had to hurry; she had so much to say to him!_

_Finally, she came to the room she was looking for. She wanted to surprise him, so she decided not to perform the basic rule of respect by knocking and swished open the door. What she saw before her was truly memorable. She flushed a deep crimson before reaching out for the door in shock and smiles, and tip-toeing her way out._

_Right there, was the one and only Kurosaki Ichigo with the hellish reiatsu, sitting on the chair, asleep, his head on top of a tuft of white hair, and Hitsugaya Toushirou, sitting up on the bed and sleeping with his head leaning on Ichigo's shoulder, right under Ichigo's chin. What was most memorable was the way Ichigo had his arm over Hitsugaya's shoulders, pulling the delicate angel closer to him as they slept, and his free hand holding onto both of Hitsugaya's hands, never willing to let go._

_She closed the door quietly with a finger on her lips and smiled once more before she left._

_She could always visit her captain later._

**＜ブリーチ＞**

**I hate you, Hitsugaya Toushirou. I hate you to the very core.**

**I hate you for keeping it all to yourself. I hate you for leaving without even saying goodbye. I hate you for betraying my trust. I hate you for your unwillingness to tell me. I hate you for your reluctance to confide in me when I am always here for you. I hate you for giving me all this fucking pain. I hate you for making me act like someone I'm not when I'm around you. I hate you for having so much authority over me. I hate you for messing around with me. I hate you for putting my weaknesses to your advantage. I hate you for being such a sneaky traitorous little asshole. I hate you for making me hate myself. I hate you…for being you.**

**I hate you, Hitsugaya Toushirou. I hate you to the very core.**

**But that is precisely why I love you even more.**

**＜ブリーチ＞**

_You should notice that there is no other_

_You should notice that there is no next time_

_You should notice that there is no other_

_You should notice that there is no next…_

_Time Notice That You should notice that_

_Notice that there's no other_

**＜ブリーチ＞**

**Don't worry, Toushirou…Your secret's safe with me.**

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A/N: And yays! It is done! My first HitsuIchi twoshot in my entire life! XD

The song – you should know by now – is Ichirin no Hana. I found it the most suitable so I used it. Remember, me no ownie song lyrics! (This is also my first songfic, I just realized…) If you want to know what they mean, it's found right at the bottom.

So how is it? I don't know if Kusaka is the real bad guy or not…I just know that he's the shinigami who has been long since dead, but for all we know, he _**might **_be alive and is actually the bad guy in the movie. I don't know; we'll see in the movie, I guess.

…I know, I know. Crappy ending. Really crappy…But it's kinda hard to end the twoshot with something else so I just had to use that. Forgive me if it's crappy. And about that secret thing…I think it's best if I leave it to everyone's imagination because all I know it's got something to do with Hyourinmaru, since the alternative name of the movie is Another Hyourinmaru/Mou Hitotsu no Hyourinmaru.

And so, that's all! I'll be writing a lot of HitsuIchi when I find the inspiration and time! _Ja ne!_

**Reflect the truth of which you see**

**Tsuki-no-Kurokage**

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_**You are the only "you"**_

_**There is no such thing as your replacement**_

_**Don't wilt away, you lone flower**_

_You are like a flower_

_That bloomed in a dark shadow_

_Even though you're in a place you didn't wish to be,_

_You can't move because of your roots._

_Just spit out your closed-up feelings._

_**I'll accept all your pain and suffering**_

_**So please don't cry**_

_**Please smile, you lone flower**_

_I wanted to see your innocent figure_

_That looked as if it were about to wilt, one more time_

_I want to become your strength_

_**Even if there comes a time**_

_**When the whole world becomes our enemy**_

_**I'll protect you**_

_You should notice that there is no other_

_You should notice that there is no next time_

_You should notice that there is no other_

_You should notice that there is no next…_

_Time Notice That You should notice that_

_Notice that there's no other_

_**You are the only "you"**_

_**Till now and from now on**_

_**Even if there comes a time**_

_**When the whole world becomes our enemy**_

_**I'll protect you**_

_**So don't give up, you lone flower**_

_You should notice that there is no other_

_You should notice that there is no next time_

_You should notice that there is no other_

_You should notice that there is no next…_

_Time Notice That You should notice that_

_Notice that there's no other_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lyrics are © by High and Mighty Color


End file.
